Blast it all!
i went and did the ol' binge purge again last night. i was weak and boytoy suggested that i "treat" myself.
*note to EvErYoNe, never offer a mia a treat, you give an inch we take 10,000 miles.*
so of course i went overboard.
ate everything in site. threw up till i was around 95.8 last night.
woke up back up to 96 pds.
so im back with the juice till i can learn how to not eat again. i boiled up a whole butt load (one of my fav sayings) of green tea last night in preparation for todays weigh in which i knew would be terrible.
boytoy of course is totally supportive of me no matter what but doesnt know the extent of my purging addiction.
like the fact that i do it every day regardless of if ive eaten anything (hell i throw up water just because it makes me bloat...i know im weird. feeling full scares me)
or that ive been throwing up for about two years now, nearly every day.
or that i cant control it anymore...
but he does know about the whole starving thing which is not happening at the moment (ie: my massive thighs)
so back to where i was. oh yeah so pretty much as a slap in the face to mia im going to try to go two whole days without throwing up, starting today. but that means no eating. so im telling myself ill juice/ green tea/ boba for the next two days and on the third day i can either have 3 cookies or 3 donuts.
baby steps girls, baby steps.
Meg
p.s. we will be skinny
Beautiful photos! I would kill for those sexy legs! My biggest problem -__-'
ReplyDeleteI agree with baby steps. You'll get you're control back in time, she'll give it to you if you keep trying! We'll do it together! Thanks super for your encouragement I REALLY needed it! I hope you make this and pray you do hun! Happiness is key to a good life! Us girls can't be happy while food exists in the world.
Ps- I still purge water and other liquids b'coz of that full feeling, it scares me to death too! It's scary that others feel this way but it's also very comforting to know you're not in it alone.
ReplyDeleteKii
Mia is my addiction as well, so I understand the constant purging. Good luck with the next two days!
ReplyDeletex
Baby steps for sure Meg... I think it is the only way that will work for me!
ReplyDeleteAt the moment I am also totally going through way more of a binge purge stage... For a few months there I was restricting way more and then the boy came to stay and I find it so hard to restrict properly around him so I started purging occasionally but the addiction escalates fast- at all eating opportunities I can feel the moment that I should stop or I will have to purge but as you so aptly say, you give us an inch we take 10,000 miles- I keep on going and what do you know 5 minutes later I am sitting on the bathroom tiles puking it all back up!
Hope it is going well for you xx