im completely out of control lately. boytoy mentioned how i used to only eat one or two cookies when i was skinnier but now i eat the entire F-ing box. im such
a
pig.
current weight: 98 pds.
current mood: i feel empty, but not in the good way. (bingepurge on the horizon)
i suck.
if im lucky ill stick to tea and boba. yeah it has calories but it keeps me from binging.
meg
Oh my word, you really have lost it. I used to love your blog. Yes you did keep it too low but lately it just shows how sick you have become.
ReplyDeleteBoytoy sounds like an asshole to me, it's apparent he is an enabler and he doesn't have your best interests at heart. He wants the skinniest girl in the room and fucking mentions how you used to only eat 2 cookies and now you eat the whole box. Gimme a break, you're 98 pounds.
I don't want to sound mean and harsh but I read your blog since it's inception. And here is my advice. Ditch boytoy and get help for your eating disorder. If not for your own sake, for your son's benefit.
I'm saying all the above because I genuinely want the best for you and I don't want you to fall deeper in this illness.
What a horrible thing for boytoy to say to you. You're lovely. Tell him to suck it :P
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In complete honesty, I feel conflicted about this post...both sides of me want to comment. The side all for health and the side all for Ana: on one hand I want to say "Aw! Nevermind him hun! It's hard enough as it is to've her screaming in your ear for it and wanting to purge without boytoy rubbing it in!" and on the other hand I want to say "I'm glad he's supporting your journey and helping you on your way coz it gives you extra motivation." .......I'm sorry I can't be of more help, dear, cept *hugs*
ReplyDelete*hugs* I love you! I want you to feel better. I want you to see how beautiful you really are. I just wish i could show you the pictures you posted of yourself through my eyes. I also wish i could punch boytoy in the mouth for always pointing out what he sees as flaws, and what i know you see as even more awful flaws. Hang in there, dearest.
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